My Marriage is a Choice Between Love and Alcohol

It took me more than a month to write another post in this blog. Merely because I have been so caught up with business and also I wanted to forget about this part of me… I am not ready to accept that I am unhappy.

There’s no doubt about it, I love my husband. But despite that love, I am an unhappy wife.

I know he loves me. Truly, I can feel it. He may not be the romantic and expressive kind of guy, but in his own unique ways, he still shows that he loves me.

Is it possible to love him despite his being alcoholic?

Our married life is full of imperfections. Like any other married couple, we have our own set of challenges and indifferences. But there’s one part of him that I have always wished never existed.

Night after night, I had to deal with a drunk husband. Though he physically never have abused me. Emotionally I am aching. I have grown up with an alcoholic father, and I do not want my daughter to grow up seeing him that way too…

At times, I try to understand, I’ve been trying to convince myself that I understand. Even though deep within me I am shouting for release from this bondage and pain. I have tried to remain patient and submissive. But to the expense of my happiness.

I know that our lives could’ve been better without it.

But how can I really make him stop? How can I let him understand that alcohol will never be a solution to any of his problems or our problems? How can I convince him to live without it when all his life he had been doing it?

Stupid side of me still hopes that one day he wakes up and will no longer give in to his addiction. That my fairy good mother would wipe it off his system.But until when?

Somebody said marriage is a choice. And these are my options: to stay with him, understand and accept him despite of that. or to leave, and give up the love of my life in exchange of an alcohol-free life.

If you were me… what choice would you take?